


Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

by Fig Newton (sg_fignewton)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor, Off-World Shenanigans, Prison Breakouts, Sam and Teal'c friendship, The Jack and Daniel Show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-22 22:38:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13774068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sg_fignewton/pseuds/Fig%20Newton
Summary: Another prison breakout, another squabble. Sam and Teal'c friendship with background Jack and Daniel friendship (sort of).





	Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

**Author's Note:**

> Written in September 2011 for the SG-1 Friendathon Ficathon Frenzy for the prompt _Sam, Teal'c. Watching the Jack and Daniel show._ Except that it's more a case of **not** watching the Jack and Daniel show...

As Sam placed a foot in Teal'c's cupped hands and felt him lift her upwards with his usual powerful grace, she allowed the acerbic sound of _The Jack and Daniel Show_ to fade into an almost soothing background murmur.

"Would it kill you to _listen_ for once, Jack?"

"Why, yes, Daniel, it would. Because I'd die of starvation before you got to the end of part one!"

Balancing easily on Teal'c's broad shoulders, Sam walked her fingers up the wall to the panel set above the door with its humming force field. She chipped only one nail before she managed to the cover off, exposing the crystals within.

"Oh, I'm _so_ sorry that my warnings about cultural taboos took so long that you didn't have time to eat a third piece of pie before we went through the Gate. Too bad you'll never have the chance to make it up, because you'll be _dead_!"

Sam glanced down at Teal'c. "They venerate the sun, right?"

"So Daniel Jackson said." Teal'c, supporting her weight with no apparent effort, inclined his head in the direction of the arguing pair on the other side of their prison cell. "Indeed, he said it repeatedly."

"...think I really care about their different fairytales and creation myths? Why couldn't you just say, 'Jack, don't cast a shadow on any of the monkeys'? I would've remembered that much."

"So the crystals that match the same color spectrum as their sun are probably the power source." Sam leaned forward, and Teal'c obligingly compensated for the shift in weight. "I think I can disconnect this, even without my tools."

"-- didn't know they were giving out master's degrees for watching _The Simpsons,_ but that would probably explain how a colonel could --"

"Perhaps my jacket can serve as insulation, Major Carter."

"Thanks, Teal'c, but I took one of Daniel's spare bandanas. He didn't even notice."

"-- the bottom line for a change, Daniel!"

"He is somewhat distracted at the moment," Teal'c agreed gravely, and Sam huffed a laugh before returning to her inspection of the crystals.

"The bottom line is they want to kill us because you thought it would be funny to stop the _indri_ from sunning themselves!"

"Daniel, there was no way for me to know that they think their pet monkeys are sun worshippers."

It was a little awkward to manipulate the crystals with the bandana wrapped around her hand to insulate her from any shocks, but Sam needed only two minutes to pull the right crystal out of its socket. The sudden cessation of the force field's hum confirmed her success. Teal'c met her gaze and allowed his eyes to crinkle in shared triumph.

"-- that the _indri_ are sacred to these people. I _told_ you that. You ignored it. And now you're going to get killed!"

"Trust me, Daniel, I won't be the first to go."

Sam jumped lightly down from her perch on Teal'c's shoulders, allowing him to balance her landing.

"-- an island off the coast of India." 

Teal'c leaned through the now empty doorway and glanced in both directions, then pulled back to give her a nod. "There are no guards, Major Carter."

"-- worshipping snakes instead of monkey, Daniel, I don't --"

"We need to find our weapons. Our GDOs, too." Sam pursed her lips and glanced at Jack and Daniel, who were practically nose-to-nose by now. "Which means being quiet. Hm."

 _The Jack and Daniel Show_ continued, with no sign that either one of them had noticed that Sam and Teal'c had broken through the force field.

"We could leave them here," Sam suggested, her voice almost wistful. "Come back for them later."

"It is indeed most tempting," Teal'c conceded.

They exchanged wry glances.

"Think they'd notice we were gone?"

" _For crying out loud!_ Daniel, if you'd --"

"Not for some time." Teal'c peered out at the corridor again. "Nevertheless..." He raised his voice, and the commanding tone of the former First Prime effortlessly cut through the squabbling. "O'Neill! Daniel Jackson! It is time to go."

Jack and Daniel stopped, blinking. Their heads turned in unison to stare as Teal'c strode out the door without a second glance, Sam at his heels.

"Hey! Wait for us!"


End file.
